NTS #916: Everything is a part of the story. Especially the "failures"
There are times when I wish I had a time machine to talk to the old me, the woman before Doomsday. I’d love to pick her brain when it comes to blind confidence and knowing everything would be alright when it clearly wasn’t. I could even play the role of being my own fairy godmother, whispering good fortune and hope into the ears of a young, overly confident me. I would constantly steer myself in the direction of happiness with a promising future with just one wave of my manicured nail and a soulful bippity boppity boo.
In September 2016, three months before Doomsday, I was so happy, bright-eyed, and just in the moment. During that time, I reserved a balcony suite on a cruise ship that was headed to Jamaica, the Cayman Islands, and Mexico. I was traveling with my mother to places I had never been before and only dreamed of. We were celebrating her 52nd chapter of life, but who knew we would later be celebrating yet another moment of success in life.
Before the ship pulled off in Miami, I had already came to the conclusion that I would quit my job some time after this trip. I wasa board operator at WCBS 880, and I wasn’t as thrilled as I thought I’d be when I applied to the job just a month or so beforehand. I enjoyed several things about that station, even the bland walls and not-so-colorful carpet. But starting off as a board-op was not what I had in mind when I quit my job of being an Digital Analyst for a media agency. The pay wasn’t the greatest and the hours were too long. I was surrounded by an older group of radio lovers, and quite frankly I wasn’t into the idea of working at an AM station that solely reported on the news. I was BORED. I may have been making some halfway-decent money in my desired field, but I was nowhere near close to the role I wanted: the talent. So, I figured I’d save some money to hold me over for awhile, quit, and begin looking for things that genuinely interested me. But all of that after this mommy-daughter voyage.
This trip was going to be my last hoorah before I buckled down and got focused on my goals again. Two months beforehand, I attended a radio conference where I met a man who saw potential in me and was willing to back up my talent if need be. His name is Kerby Confer and he is the godfather of radio. He created an empire for himself and his family as well as paved the way for many radio personalities on the rise. Kerby believed in radio and he most definitely believed in me. As a result of our many conversations pertaining to my talents and wants in life, Kerby inspired me to focus and be daring. So before leaving the conference, I contacted a radio station in Tennessee as well as WCBS in NYC to apply for openings. Kirby was my reference for both applications. He also had friends in high places at both locations. As a result of that, I felt confident that my fate was about to change in just a few weeks.
I soaked up some sun, drank more than enough alcoholic beverages, and ate some pretty dope food throughout the duration of the trip. Work and my pending career change were on the back-burner. I was so obsessed with my career and making a shift in my life that I just wanted to breathe and forget about the responsibilities that awaited me on U.S. soil.
And then I checked my email.
The Director of Programming for JJ97.7 in Jackson, Tennessee, finally emailed me back about the radio talent position. I had just come back to the ship from an excursion in Mexico. I was already high from happiness and then there was this email requesting a conference call with me. I had barely read the email when I started shouting in our cabin. The universe was answering my desperate plea for a change in my life, and here was the Director of Programming with my career in his hands. I couldn’t wait for the cruise to be over and call him the moment I got ashore.
And that’s exactly what I did.
The next thing I knew, I had secured an in-person interview later in September. I would be flying all the way out to Jackson to show these people what I was made of. All the schooling, podcasting, and radio conferences led up to this very moment, and it all felt worthwhile after that call. I took the time to thank the man upstairs for the blessing and reassured myself that I was highly blessed and anointed no matter what anyone said. I was on the verge of making a dream come true. And it only took me a 15 months to get to this point after graduating college.
Straight hustlin’, baby.
Nowadays, I always think about that moment of accomplishment. I busted my ass for a total of six and a half years. I went from recording two-minute audio bits in a small recording studio on campus and marketing those mini shows online BY MYSELF, to establishing a name for myself amongst my peers, to being invited to a radio conference TWICE, to having someone validate how talented I am and wanting to pay me for it.
“A talent like yours is very easy to spot, but doesn’t come around too often. You have a confidence about you that is not only physical but you can feel it. You’re also very easy to talk to and very entertaining. You’ve got that it factor. I see dollar signs behind your name, girl,” Kerby said to me after I told him the good news about JJ 97.7.
I let those words and the many moments that led up to Doomsday shape me in my decision making today. I may not be as interested in radio anymore, but I make sure to apply that same drive to any project I work on. I remind myself constantly that there IS something there, that I am talented, and that I should not let something like Doomsday stop me from getting what I feel I deserve. Look at what hard work, dedication, and God can do! By September 2016, everything I did leading up to that moment just felt right and needed.
Even though I know more now than I did before, I still have moments of insecurity and remember to trust the process of things. Sometimes I need the old me to remind the new me what it means to put my all into something. Sometimes I need a reminder of what it means to jump, to let everything go despite the things others may say and to go for what feels right. And, at the end of the day, I learned to follow my instincts...even if that means getting fired in under a month.
After going through the short-lived career in Jackson, I began the process of healing. It was mind over matter and I couldn’t change the past. However, what I learned to do was embrace it and learn from it. Jackson was only a part of my story, not my entire story. Once I understood that, I began to tell myself there was no one else on this planet like me, and that station would soon come to understand what they let go.
On May 3, 2018, I got a text from a very dear friend of mine back in Jackson. She called me with such excitement and with a tone that told me she had some really hot tea. A few people at the station mentioned that they regretted letting me go two years ago. They came to terms regarding Doomsday, and they agreed that I was an amazing young talent and that I would’ve been amaze-balls at the station. They felt sorry for making such a rash decision on short notice.
LOOK. AT. GOD.
But, as for me, I think that them letting me go was the best thing that could have happened. Now I am working at one of the world’s top media agencies as an Analyst for digital media. Not to mention I am running this blog, following my passions, and following my instincts. Without their decision and without Doomsday, I would not be where I am today.
So, yes, sometimes things fall to pieces. Sometimes it feels like things will never get better. But I learned to trust that everything happens for a reason and that nothing would ever keep me from reaching my goals. And ultimately, I learned that maybe those situations like Doomsday are a blessing in disguise.